


Godiva

by SilverServerError



Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: Gen, Sazed is kind of a dick, Voidfish problems Taako
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-26
Updated: 2018-04-26
Packaged: 2019-04-28 03:22:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 903
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14440386
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SilverServerError/pseuds/SilverServerError
Summary: Rolling with an elf like Taako came with certain perks.





	Godiva

**Author's Note:**

> I bet Taako was the horse kid growing up.

People were staring. 

In the good way. 

In like, the really, really good way. 

Taako held the reigns a little tighter. Sat up a little taller. Oakridge was a small village and he was probably blowing their goddamn minds. He flicked his hair over a shoulder. Spotted a few hunks and graced them with winks. He was barely containing himself by the time he passed back out of the dirt roads to the meadow on the outskirts where they had made camp. 

“Who’s your man?” He called out as soon as he neared. 

Sazed turned, looking them up and down, looking…

Huh. 

Not looking nearly as impressed as he should be. 

“Taako?” 

“Hey, Hamburger Helper. What’s better than a dusty old mule?” He arched forward, petting down the neck, batting his eyelashes over an almost exposed shoulder. “Told you I would handle it.” 

Taako watched as two expressions fought for dominance on his face. There was that familiar adoration and thirst. (No biggie. Him and the rest of Faerun.) The second… was he… mad? Jealous maybe? Well, under-fucking-standable. 

“Don’t worry. I’ll let you take a ride with me if you’re real nice, Babe.” 

“You think that has room for two?” 

“I’m sure we’ll manage somehow.” 

“What even is that?” 

Taako scowled. That should have had him eating out of his palm. Not… This was not how he’d imagined this going. 

“You never seen a unicorn before, Dipshit?” 

Understanding dawned over Sazed’s face. He kept a suspicious distance. 

“Don’t tell me you’re scared, Big Boy.” 

“No, no.” Sazed said narrowing his eyes at Taako’s mount. “Just wondering how you got your hands on one. I thought you had to cry virgin tears deep in the forest.” 

“I could have!” Taako huffed indignantly, pulling back on the reigns. “You don’t know my life, Sazed. But yeah obviously I traded her for Maggie.” 

“The thing is, you didn’t though.” Finally Sazed wandered a little closer. 

Taako frowned hard, anger blooming through his chest as he flung out a hand at the self evident unicorn. “I fucking did?” 

“Taako, I don’t know what you call this thing, but it’s not a horse.” 

As soon as he said it, the illusion broke. Taako found himself precariously sitting on the back of a frankly giant and awkward bird, seeming to be all fluff, neck and eyes. “Uhhg!” He stopped his flinch just fast enough not to lose his balance. 

Then it hit. 

Taako had traded Maggie, their trusty mule, for… for this crime against nature, halfway between a vulture and a giraffe. 

There was a moment of panic. Real actual panic over how much money he’d just lost them. And then in an instant it was numbed to a soreness in his chest and expression, an instinct he’d never questioned telling him to keep calm.

“Son of a bitch,” he cursed softly. Sazed couldn’t quite keep the smugness out of his eyes. It was gone in a second. But Taako couldn’t unsee it or the embarrassment that burned across his cheeks. “Hatchi- Maggie!” He brought his hands to his face as his posture slumped, hat shading him from view. He stayed like that until there was a jostling at his knee, Sazed carefully holding the reigns and looking up at him in something like concern. 

“Hey, it’s okay, Taako. It’s not your fault this keeps happening.” 

Taako pulled down on the sides of his hat, like that might provide a modicum of privacy more when they were already the only two in the meadow. “I just…” his voice sounded far off, tiny. “I don’t know why I have this blind spot.” 

“Your passive perception is really low,” Sazed agreed kindly. Taako’s breath hitched and his brow furrowed that little bit tighter. “Hey,” Sazed said, in a new tone this time. Encouraging. “But that’s why you’ve got me, right?” His smile was broad. And tired. 

“Yeah,” Taako, said slowly, easing his hands away until his hat flopped back into shape. 

“But,” Sazed winced slightly, leaning closer and letting his voice drop to a murmur, “maybe you should let me hang on to the GPs for a while?” 

Taako gasped hurt and disbelieving. 

But before he could speak, Sazed cut him off again, gentle, but firm and insistent. “For safekeeping.” He raised pointed eyebrow at the bug eyed face looking back at them. 

“I…” Taako hesitated, then glanced away as he slipped a hand past the loose collar of his shirt, fingertips finding the little pocket sewn right over his heart. “Yeah, maybe that’s not the worst idea,” he said with a low frown, handing their magically-tiny bag of profits over. 

“Exactly,” Sazed said, putting it away. Then the hand was moving to his waist. “Now, let’s get you off this accident waiting to happen?” 

Taako hummed his consent as he braced on Sazed’s shoulders and the bird ran out from under him. An arm around his waist lowered him to the ground with as much dignity as possible.

“What are we gonna do with this guy?” Taako asked, lingering against him as they watched it run gangly circles and flap at nothing in the tall grass. “Trade him back?” 

“That swindler is gonna be long gone by now. You know how the grift works.” 

The corner of Taako’s lip twitched into a rueful grin. “I could always… I mean, I could cook him?” 

Sazed huffed a little laugh, then shrugged


End file.
